so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
