Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
