I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
