If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
