the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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