Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
