Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
