batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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