He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i used baking grease as lip gloss
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
