Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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