i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
