Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
