you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
