I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
