Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She's JV to your varsity
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
