you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
