I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
