Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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