So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
