is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
