I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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