he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
