Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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