i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
