..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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