if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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