I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
