he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
