He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
