somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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