He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
