meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
"it" just moved
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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