So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
