Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just high enough for therapy.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
