"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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