If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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