matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
