Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
