never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Never let your siblings swipe right.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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