my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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