I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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