Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
