but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
