we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
