Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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