he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
