Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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