I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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