So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
