Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
